Those With Young

Our bedtime routine, nightly fun=future memories- by Heather Ledeboer

The following is the typical Ledeboer bedtime routine
(for the kids anyway, this is a G rated blog after all): 

-Dinner time:
Usually involving something too healthy for the kids to get excited about but not so disgusting that they won't eat it with the promise of dessert to follow.  What they often forget is that I often hide healthy things there too;).

-The kids start getting ready for bed:
Hunter has a little list on the fridge that has his "to do before bedtime" checklist.  He loves lists.  Once I realized that I could harness this for my benefit, I became very happy.  We now also have an "after school to do list", a "things to do before TV, Computer or Wii time" list.  They work like magic with him.  Ashlyn, isn't so into lists so she gets a little more personal direction with the bedtime routine.

-Once the PJ's are on, teeth are brushed, faces washed, etc, it's story time: 
Hunter and Ashlyn each pick out a bedtime story and cuddle up with dad while I clean up the kitchen from dinner.  I love reading to the kids, but equally I love listening to Trent read to them--special times.  After their personal stories are read, they get one last story out of The Jesus Storybook Bible.  We really like this kid's bible, and as the subtitle suggests (Every Story Whispers His Name) it does a wonderful job of weaving Christ into each story told.

-Next is the "bedtime game" (hands-down the kid's favorite part of the evening):
They pretend to go to bed, gleefully saying good night to every member of the family and obediently trotting off to their rooms.  Trent and I exclaim in voices a little too loud to be believable, "what amazingly wonderful children we have that go to bed without a fuss" and start discussing our plans for the evening.  All the while the kids are slowly, quietly sneaking out of their beds (gasp!) and crawling back into the living room.  Suddenly, they jump up and start running around the room, fully of energy and vigor.  At this, a very surprised daddy jumps up from the couch and tries to catch them and tote them back to their beds only to find them escaping again.  The length of the game depends on how close it is to bedtime (7:00 PM).  Inevitability, Trent will begin the one minute countdown which signals the approaching close to the good night game.  At the 10 second mark the kids are frantically trying to get past dad (who is blocking their way) and into their beds.  On occasion, I am called upon to use my extreme strength to restrain dad so that the children can pass and reach their beds before time runs out.

 

-Lastly, kisses, prayers, an occasional song and the following back tickle (with specific motions):
Big X, little x (using your pointer finger, draw out the letter X on their back)
Spider crawling up your back, spider crawling down your back, spider crawling up your back (use two fingertips to 'crawl' up and down the spine)
Bites you on the neck, bites you on the neck (gently 'bite' the back of their neck with your fingers)
Cool breeze (blow gently on their back)
Tight squeeze (gently squeeze their sides)
Now you've got the shiverezze (do a quick fingertip tickle all over the back)

A babysitter taught this tickle to Hunter a few years ago.  I am not exactly sure what the appeal of a spider crawling up and down your back before bedtime is, but it became an instant hit.

As they nod off to sleep they are given the option of listening to a CD.  Among their favories are:

The Singing Bible by Focus On The Family

CEV Kid's Bible Dramatized New Testament

The Amazing Book

As much as I love it when the kids are all tucked quietly in their beds, I have a feeling that this routine will be one of the fond memories that I will long for when I am older. 

What are some of your bedtime routines?  Do you have any speical books, songs, etc to share?

~Heather Ledeboer
Mom, Owner of www.mom4life.com and blogger at blog.mom4life.com  

The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name By Sally Lloyd-Jones / Zonderkidz The Jesus Storybook Bible tells the story beneath all the stories in the Bible. At the center of the story is a baby, the child upon whom everything will depend. Every story whispers his name. From Noah to Moses to the great King David--every story points to him. He is like the missing piece in a puzzle--the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together. From the Old Testament through the New Testament, as the story unfolds, children will pick up the clues and piece together the puzzle. A Bible like no other, this book invites children to join in the greatest of all adventures, to discover for themselves that Jesus is at the center of God's great story of salvation--and at the center of their story too. Recommended for ages 4 to 8.

Great Marriage Books...I've found along "The Journey"

This week's topic has generated some interesting discussion and great questions.I kind of feel like this submission topic is sometimes like peeling the layers of an onion. There are so many reasons why we may struggle, and sometimes it takes a while to get to the bottom of it.

It could be that:

1. We just don't like authority, but would rather be in control ourselves.
2. We just don't understand submission.
3. We just flat out don't respect our husband.

Today, I simply want to share with you some great books that have helped me love my husband more and also "love on" my husband more. Maybe one of them will strike a chord with you. I decided to not even go pouring over my bookshelves to look for them. I'm simply going by the ones that changed me enough to stick out in my memory.

P.S. I do like to read. :)

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, has to be one of the best books I ever bought. Let me tell you why. It is simple, yet profound. Stormie takes 30 topics that are major in a man's life and writes a chapter about them. The first time I went through it, I read the whole book. But this book has been the resource I pull out over and over again.

When my husband is struggling with a certain topic, I can pull out the book, look it up, and remind myself how to pray. Sometimes I just grab it, and look up the chapter for whatever day of the month it is and pray that prayer.

The biggest reason I love this book? Sometimes, especially when you have lots of little ones, your heart is just to exhausted to mentally form the prayers. You know you need to pray, but how? What? There is a certain comfort in those prayers where the spirit simply intercedes for you because you can't even put the words to it. But reading these prayers helps me engage my mind. It reminds me of the truth of God's word, and the truth of our situation. Stormie has written these prayer books for many relationships...she even wrote one for husbands to pray for their wives. Perhaps the pair would be a great valentine investment. :)

Building Your Mate's Self Esteem by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, was like a gift from heaven when it came my way. I found it for a quarter at a Thrift Store, and though, "Why not?" I had no idea, until I started reading it, how much I really needed it. God really opened my eyes to the different ways my husband struggled with self-esteem, and how so many of the things that he struggled with in life were related to that. I really was unaware. If you don't see yourself getting around to reading a book anytime soon, maybe the CD of the Focus on the Family Radio Broadcast will get your heart moving in the right direction.

Then right along those same lines.....

Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Wow! Such a simple insight. A wife sees love as love. A husband sees love as respect. You don't respect him? He doesn't feel loved. Its pretty simple really.

I really had no idea how disrespectful I was to my husband before I read this book. I didn't realize the impact some of my words and actions had. It really kind of put the practical touches on how to show him honor and love him on his level. I learned to ask God to help me respect him, when I didn't always find it easy.

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

In the same way that Love & Respect help you understand the general love language of men, The Five Love Languages sheds further insight on how your specific man likes to be shown love - and how you like to be shown love.

I read this book earlier in our marriage. It actually helped me identify how out of touch I was with my own heart. What made me feel loved?

Bill and I discovered that each of our love languages were the one that was most difficult for the other to meet. Bill's love language is touch (not to be confused with sex). You know, like brushing his shoulders when you walk by or rubbing his head, giving lots of hugs, and reaching for his hand in the car. I'm a personal space kind of girl...not really into all that touching. When I first really started working on this (which I'm ashamed to say was several years after reading the book), I honestly had to discipline myself to touch him. Silly, I know. But it just isn't natural for me. It is becoming more natural, though, and it makes all the difference to him.

Knowing your own love language will help you help your husband love you as well. (I say that because I will not assume you can get your husband to read the book, too. If your house is like mine, I give regular book reports and highlight all the main points in a Cliff Notes style for my non-reader husband.) For instance, my love language is quality time. Usually for me, that means conversation. I am married to, perhaps the quietest man on the planet. He really doesn't like talking all that much. I have put him to sleep many times.

It is easy for our spouses to feel "unloved" simply because we are loving them our way, not their way. It can be a fairly simple adjustment once the light bulb comes on and you ask God for lots of help.

Daily Blessings for My Husband by Melody Carlson, has been another one of those worn out mama life savers! It again, has pages of pre-written blessings on a variety of topics. It is almost like having a greeting card store at your disposal. When you know you need to encourage him or apologize or bless him - but you honestly can't think of anything to say...find the right blessing and leave it open and marked on his pillow. Its never failed me yet.

Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, changed my life. I've often been surprised how many people are leery of the Boundaries books. I guess I was a bit too, until I read it. My "leeriness" was based on mis-assumptions. This book helps address many of the questions that are faced in manipulative and abusive relationships. It helps you stop and realize that if all your relationships seem to head the same direction, then maybe it says more about you than it does for everyone else. In a sense, you teach others how to treat you. You may think that sounds controlling, but really, this book helped me see how much I tried to control others by the misuse of boundaries.

If you are looking for an "out" to the whole submission thing, especially if you think your husband is one that God would make an exception for, this book is for you. But watch out! It isn't what you expect.

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that we all have boundaries. It is just a matter of whether or not we tell others what we are. Most of us are guilty of exploding when someone crosses our boundary. We just assumed they should know. We never actually told them.

It is really difficult to describe all the sludge this stirred up in my life, so you may need a dose of courage to crack it open. But I've never met someone that regretted it. Drs. Cloud and Townsend have many amazing books. This is just one.

Sacred Sex by Tim Alan Gardner

Sex is important in marriage....and not just for the man. If you have some hangups in sex that may have to do with spiritual perception or past guilt, this is a great book.

Growing up in a strong Christian home, I knew that sex was supposed to be saved for marriage. I knew that God planned it that way, and I knew it was right. But what I didn't really understand was how beautiful and spiritual he intended it to be. Sex became a big "no, no!" in my mind, because it was forbidden. Unfortunately, I had some serious mental hang-ups when I got married because it is hard to turn off the "no, no!" switch. Sacred Sex opened my eyes to the beauty of sex from a spiritual viewpoint and helped me understand why God created it the way He did.