Okay, moms! Are you ready? Our Valentines Verse project was overwhelminly accepted and many asked about doing something for Easter. So here it is!
Our Easter/Resurrection verse project takes up sixteen days. There is a bit of flexibility here. The "Easter Story" passage falls on day thirteen. Strange, I know. But I really didn't want to end with that story because I want to follow up with verses about what His resurrection means, and that He is coming back again! So, if you want, you can start on March 19 and end on Easter (April 4th). OR, you can start on March 23, so that the Matthew 28 passage lands on Easter and then finish up later in the week. Whatever works!
The verses I've chosen do not chronologically tell the story. Instead, they are individual verses from four different categories.
The darkness of our sin
The hope of a Saviour coming
The work accomplished on the cross
The resurrection and life
I have posted the verses ready for you to download and print in the New International Reader's Version (NIV, but young reader friendly) right here:
However, I am also going to link them individually for you below for a couple of reasons.
Some of you had trouble downloading them last time. I will still be more than willing to e-mail the document to you if you want to go ahead and use it, but have trouble opening it. But this way, you can look them up in another way if you'd like.
Some of you may prefer to use a different translation with your kids. I'm linking these verses to Bible Gateway. With Bible Gateway, you can easily change the translation you'd like to use, update it, and then copy and paste to your own document to print - or just hand right them. Here is how that works:
When you click on the verse links, your screen will look something like this image below. If you click on the arrow I circled, you can choose another translation from the list and then click "update." It will put the verse up in the new translation.
This project is a bit different than the Valentine's one, in that the verses have an order to them. So you don't want to just keep them piled in a basket. You will want to keep them in order and then be the one that pulls the right verse out everyday. You can just cut them apart and read them, or put them on colored strips of paper. You could make a paper chain with them or you could put them each on paper shapes, like a black heart for the verses about sin or a cross for the verses about the cross, etc.
"Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling." Zechariah 2:13
Moms can rest and be still because we are not God. We can rest because God is still at work. We can trust Him to act on our behalf when we are resting like He has told us to do.
I love what Sharise said this week: "I often
feel guilty when I'm not "doing" something. However, a very convicting
thought is 'who is my god?'. If my thoughts are always on my children,
or on my house, etc. then that means that they have become an idol (in
a sense). If we never take time to rejuvenate ourselves and reflect on
our own lives, then we can not grow or teach to our full potential!"
So often, we choose not to rest because we think we need to do the job that God has already signed up to do. No, he doesn't often come in and do the dishes or vacuum - but He can bring joy into the home that isn't dependent on a clean house.
We can trust Him to bring about His purposes in the lives of our children. We can trust Him to help others have grace with us when we fail. We can trust Him to fill in every gap when we've chosen to be still before Him.
Moms, the King of the Universe, has roused Himself from His holy dwelling. He does that for us! Can you imagine? Just picture that for a minute. What on earth do we think we can do that he can't handle on His own?
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14
This is a special verse to me. God gave me this verse years ago when I felt I knew some things that God wanted for my life - but people seemed to be standing in the way. I was discouraged. I wanted to fight for myself. I wanted to set all the records straight.
But God said...."(I) will fight for you; you need only to be still."
I decided to take Him at His word (this particular time anyway), and guess what? He set the record straight. He fought for me, and what I felt I knew God had for me was accomplished...and not out of any effort of mine.
This verse comes at a time when the children of Israel were again surrounded by enemies and grumbling to Moses about why they just came to the desert to die. Ever feel that way? Ganged up on by your own kids? Wondering how this dream of motherhood could turn into feeling like you are just dying a slow death?
Then Moses tells the people: "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will
see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you
see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14
We need to be still before the Lord, so that we can watch Him come through for us....because we're right. We can't do it all! He never meant for us to.
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;" Psalm 37:7b
As a busy mom, it is hard enough to be still....but even harder to be patient. As our reader mentioned yesterday, it only takes a minute before we wonder what we should be doing. Sometimes I think I'm not still often enough because in my heart, I don't truly believe God is going to act....so a few moments later, I'm back to figuring out how to handle things on my own. God is just too slow for me sometimes.
There are two parts to being still, really. First, there is the physical act of being still....the discipline of taking the time to sit before the Lord. This one literally takes practice. Remember trying to get your baby to sleep through the night? Were you one that went in and patted them on the back and then waited a while before you went in and comforted them again....waiting a little longer between each comfort session? It is kind of like that with learning to be still. We almost have to practice. "Okay, I managed ten minutes today. Next time I'll try 15." Sound a little silly? Maybe. But sometimes the act of being still is uncomfortable. It is so new that we have to get used to it. Little by little, we learn to let God talk while we just listen - and little by little we'll crave more and more time to do it.
Secondly, there is the spiritual and emotional side of being still. We can sit in silence all day with a terribly anxious heart. The stillness in our heart comes when we take God at his word and believe that He really does have it all covered. There is internal rest for the one who takes God at His Word.
Psalm 7
3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.
"Does anyone have something to say about this: sometimes I feel like if
I sit still for too long I don't know what to do with myself. I'm a mom
of 4 and so there's a lot going on in my family and it seems like a
race just to do the basics. So to slow down is a hard concept. I can't
fully relax. What do you have to say about this?"
The panel and I have had some good discussion on this, and so we are going to spend this week talking about being still before the Lord. I'm laughing a bit, because this is truly a difficult concept for me to grasp. I'm the type that God has often had to force to rest. He has hit me flat on my back with bed rest in a pregnancy or the flu or stripped me of positions, etc. just to try to get me to stop and listen.
Last weekend, I did something that I've never done since I got married (13-1/2 years ago). I went away completely by myself. I didn't go with a friend or with children or my husband. I didn't go to shop or attend a conference or help family with a crisis. I went to simply rest, spend time in the Word and write. I was afraid I would get bored. Others told me I would get tired of the quiet.
I didn't.
I guess because it had been so long, I was ready to enjoy every minute of my two nights and two days away. I think it is easy for us as moms to put off rest until we absolutely crash because we can't go anymore.
As we talked about yesterday, rest is often something that we have to discipline ourselves to do.
Rest is often an intentional work - a choice that we don't choose often enough. Why?
We feel guilty. There is so much to do, and we don't feel like we should rest until our work is done. But we don't see the need for rest as a legitimate work. I love what Kendra shared this week: "Think of
down time, alone time, or "rest" time as the time that you ARE doing
something. You are making yourself a BETTER mom/wife by refilling that
reservoir that everyone else draws from."
We don't think we really need it. We CAN get it all done if we just keep going, right? But even God rested after six days. I don't think He rested because He needed it, but because He knew we would. Why on earth do we think we are smarter than Him?
We think the world can't survive if we take a break. Pride! Pure and simple. We've let the devil trick ourselves into thinking that we are the answer to everything.
So why should we be still before the Lord?
Psalms 46 comes along and tells us what God does, what He is capable of, and that we need to just be still and observe that is the end all. He is the answer. He is the "accomplisher."
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.
10"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
We need to remind ourselves that He is God, and we will never be able to do it all. It is a simple reminder that we are not the Savior of anything or anyone. We will not be able to get more done if we just keep going. We are NOT bigger than God.
Good late morning here from sunny North Idaho where we are enjoying a beautiful early spring - unlike most of the nation.
Last night, we had three extra boys spending the night. There was lots of giggling and pillow piling and staying up late - but it went really well. This morning I discovered that 18 eggs and 26 pancakes is indeed enough to feed seven boys and two parents (if a few of them have had a bowl of cereal as an appetizer).
After breakfast, we all parted to spend some time doing things that we love and find enjoying...things there isn't much time for during the rest of the week. The boys ran outside in the sun to play kickball in the field. Bill headed out split wood. Yes, he really does love to split wood. It actually is one of his favorite pastimes - which is a good thing judging by the amount of wood on our porch at the moment.
Now it seems they've all moved on to a father/son basketball game down by the barn....and I'm blogging/writing. :)
I've talked about this briefly before, but there are probably lots of new moms here. Some of you may be wondering why a strongly professed Christian, whose mission in life is to encourage other moms in their pursuit of Christ, is sitting at home on a Sunday morning blogging while her kids run a muck in the sunshine.
Well, the short, simple answer is: We go to church on Friday nights.
But that answer isn't very simple to some, it just draws more questions. Why Friday? Is their a belief we hold that makes Friday sacred?
No.
We go to church on Fridays because it is available. We are a part of a very large church and have five weekend services - three on Sunday and two on Friday night. There simply isn't enough seats for everyone to come on Sunday.
Now, I don't know what you'd call me - but traditional and sentimental would not be it...which is probably why this doesn't bother me at all. But, I did grow up going to church every Sunday. More than that, I grew up with the mindset that stores should all be closed and Christians should quit their job before they accepted a Sunday shift. So of course it seemed strange to me at first to shake things up. I did have to go to God's Word and really dig to make sure I understood what was biblical and what wasn't. I don't want to be outside of God's will - no matter how inconvenient it is.
When I began to dig, I began to realize that many of the things I held as Bible based beliefs were simply modern, Christian tradition. We have lots of them, you know. For instance: Growing up, our communion table at church was always covered with a big white cloth; and before communion was served, the cloth would be ceremoniously folded up by the deacons and laid aside, unveiling the beautiful silver dishes. Do you know how that got started? In open air churches, the flies would be all over the "elements", so they began to cover them with a cloth. But today, it has in some places become a sacred tradition - without any biblical merit. Do you know why most churches meet around 11:00 a.m. on Sunday? So the farmers could get their chores done before church - because cows still need milked and pigs still need fed, no matter what day it is.
Through my study of the New Testament (and there are lots of good passages to look up here), the shift to Sunday worship from the Saturday sabbath seams to be a way that those who had chosen Christ could show that they were different than those who were still holding to the law and had rejected Christ. It became a new tradition for them, and I believe it was a great reason. They still gathered and met and worshiped and gave - but they did it on a new day - a day that had special meaning to them and showed the world around them that they were different.
As a recovering legalist, I may see things differently than some others, but here is the conclusion I've come to: God wants me to set aside a day to rest and focus on him. Around here, we choose to make Sunday our day of rest. But isn't the same day we attend worship services at our church.
During our years of serving on staff at churches, we discovered that Sunday was our biggest work day. We would have morning services and earlier morning rehearsals and afternoon meetings and early evening study groups and evening services and after service meetings. When the day was done, we were completely worn out. There was no rest. But we looked good to all the Christians because we were at church all day. We were perpetually worn out and falling apart on the inside, but we were keeping up with tradition.
For me, rest is a discipline. I'm a worker - a hard worker. I'm task oriented. It is difficult for me to rest when I see the mess around me or things that need caught up. I've often been guilty of not taking a day to rest because I feel there is still so much to be done? What about you?
I guess what I'm trying to get to here in the midst of all of my rambling is that we can follow tradition and not follow God's heart. God's heart is for us to rest, so that we are effective with the rest of our week - and start with full, spiritual tanks.
I've learned that you can spend your whole Sunday at church and then come home to scramble all the laundry before the work week begins - and have had no rest. I've learned that you can go to church on Friday and spend Sunday resting and enjoying your family. You may have totally wrecked tradition, but you have honored God's heart.
....and I'm certainly not saying you can't go to church on Sunday and still rest.
What I'm saying is that we need to evaluate whether we are honoring the heart of God in our discipline of rest. What can we do to make sure that we can get that rest?
For me, it means I've had to learn to set some guidelines for myself:
No cleaning on Sunday....no matter what needs done (well, unless of course, you are talking about mopping up spilled grape juice, etc.). Of course that means if my mind is going to rest, I need ot make sure that I worked really hard to get the cleaning done on another day.
No laundry on Sunday.
No big meals on Sunday. This is hard for me. Really hard. Because I genuinely love to cook. But, the truth is that by the end of the day, I am tired if I put on a big dinner. I feel like I've been in the kitchen and on my feet all day - and end up resenting it. I still like to have family over, but I've learned to make a dessert the day ahead and plan the rest ahead too. Either the casserole is in the fridge ready to pop in the oven. Or we have something REALLY simple, like nachos.
Those are just a few of mine - not to set a bunch more traditional, unfounded rules. Actually for me, I could re-write them all to say: clean on Saturday, do laundry on Saturday, etc. What I'm saying is that I have to prepare to rest. I doesn't just happen - unless I get the flu.
On my rest day, I love to sit in the park and listen to my kids laugh and play. I love to spend extra time reading God's Word - when I may feel rushed the rest of the week. I like to take a nap on Bill's lap while he watches golf. I love to play with my niece and skype with my parents. There are so many things that bring rest to my spirit and rest to my body.
What about you? How do you rest? How do you plan for rest? How easy is it for you to take a day to rest?
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14
There once was a woman who had been married four times. None of those marriages worked though, so she ended up just moving in with guy #5. Most of us would say, "There is something wrong with that woman!" Or, "She certainly has issues." Or, worse yet - simply resort to labeling and name calling.
Then she encounters Jesus - a man who tells her everything she has ever done and offers her permanent filling for that God-shaped hole that she keeps trying to fill with men.
There was never any doubt that she was thirsty. Oh, she was thirsty! But she kept choosing that wrong drink. She chose what made sense, sounded good, was easy. But it never satisfied.
We all have a God-shaped hole. Very few of us are working on man #5. But how many of us move from one good sounding thing to another trying to fill that unquenchable thirst inside. There are so many things that we moms are tempted to run after to fill a void we may feel inside. We think going back to school might help, or going back to work, or exercising ourselves into the perfect body, or losing ourselves in the fantasy world of fictional romance, or pouring ourselves completely into our kids, or finding every volunteer position that we can possibly fill, or, or, or......
We have thousands of choices in our world today that we can drink in without looking immoral or even out of balance. But the thirst is never quenched....unless we choose the one that truly will keep us from ever thirsting again.
"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" Psalm 42:2
I have a bad habit of letting my gas tank get way too low. My mini-van has one of those handy features of telling me how many miles I have left on the tank. I've learned the hard way that it isn't too accurate.
Honestly, I don't know how many times I've needed bailed out. My sister in law has brought me gas on the side of the road. My brother has brought gas to my house. Friends have brought me gas at random stores I had to pull over at. I've even been towed by a stranger to the nearest station. Sad. I know.
I was trying to figure out this weekend why that happens to me so much, and the bottom line is that I'm just not intentional about filling my tank when I can. The truth is, I'm just too busy on school days to stop for gas. My schedule is down to the minute in the mornings and at noon when delivering my prize kindergartner to his afternoon class.
SO....I need to make sure I'm gassed up on the weekend. Just like I do more cleaning and more baking and more laundry on the weekends, getting ready for a new week, I need to make sure my tank is full and ready.
I love this verse because, as a mom, it is my constant question. When can I meet with God?
I'll be honest, I don't get a consistent time every day with the Lord. It isn't that I don't try or that I don't want it but kids don't often read my schedule and pick when to get sick or misbehave or wake up super early. There are days when my only time with God is just praying throughout my day or reading a chapter of Psalms to my kids.
Long before this weekend, when I finally decided when to fill my van's tank, I learned that I had to be pretty intentional to keep my spiritual tank filled. Santha and I were talking not too long ago, and she said something so profound (which is pretty normal for Santha). She said, "There is a difference between being intentional and being in control." So often as moms we feel sabotaged by our lack of control over our schedule and what may surprise us each day. But we can still be intentional with our relationship with God. Our time with Him may not happen every morning like we hope...or even during afternoon nap time, but we can still carve the time slot out and be ready.
Kim was just sharing with me this weekend how God has laid on her heart to get up at a certain time on certain days of the week - not every day, but certain days. That is how she is going to be intentional.
I've learned to take my "mom-time" to be with God. When Bill sends me out for a couple of hours to get away, I often take my Bible and meet God somewhere. I've learned it helps me more than just about anything else I need to keep going. This weekend, I'm doing something I've never done before (at least since I had kids), I'm going away for an entire weekend - just me and God. I can't wait!
Do you thirst for time with the Lord? Does your soul long for Him? He's waiting for you!
Just for fun, and a little humor, I want to share with you the detailed account of one of my actual days this week. Days like this one prove to me what God shared with me a while back: Time with God isn't necessarily easier when your kids are past the pre-school age. All of life has its ups and downs and hills and valleys. The relationship we build with God has to be more solid than a time slot or a checklist. There are some days that my flare prayers are as good as it gets. I just spend the whole day reminding myself how much I need the Lord to survive - and not kill anyone.
So, enjoy! You can go ahead and laugh. I won't mind. :)
The day begins (sorta) at 5:30 a.m. My alarm goes off and I hit snooze.
The alarm goes off again at 5:35, and I hit snooze.
The alarm goes off again at 5:40, 5:45, 5:50, 5:55, 6:00, and 6:05 before I actually get up.
My exercise aspirations were conquered once again by my love for flannel sheets and heated mattress covers.
6:07 a.m. I hit the shower AND wash my hair for the first time since...um...I think Wednesday. Isn't that gross?
6:30 a.m. Emerge from my room, dressed and ready to conquer - oh who am I kidding?! ready for coffee!
6:34
a.m. Sit down at the couch with coffee and spend some time talking to
God about having a heart that is hungry for him...begin forming
outlines and notes for the beginnings of a Bible Study curriculum (six
week study) that I'm really excited about.
6:56 a.m. Try to wake up sons #1 and 2.
6:58 a.m. Go back to couch and keep working.
7:03 a.m. Try to wake up sons #1 and 2.
7:07 a.m. Try to wake up sons #3 and 4.
7:08 a.m. Try to wake up sons #1 and 2.
Is it Groundhog Day again?
7:10
a.m. Son #3 emerges from his room in a school uniform and lets loose
his croupy cough while complaining how sore his throat is.
7:12 a.m. Son #2 emerges from his room in a school uniform with a bright red eye, complaining how sore his throat is.
7:15 a.m. inspect throats under the kitchen light and decide that two kiddos will be staying home from school.
7:21 a.m. Make sure son #1, still wrapped in a towel, realizes that his ride is leaving in four minutes.
7:26 a.m. Make sure son #1, who is still barefoot realizes that his ride is leaving in two minutes.
7:30 a.m. Separate son #4 from two stray puppies in the yard and drag kids to the van.
7:49 a.m. Return home and get out cereal.
8:00 a.m. Begin working.
8:10 a.m. Settle a fight about whether my very sick kids will be watching T.V. or playing the Wii.
8:12
a.m. Son #2 has "broken" #4's leg and he is forced to crawl with
muffled cries across the living room while I silently shush him. I have
a customer on the phone.
9:30 a.m. Begin working on headache customer's issue.
10:00 a.m. Still working on headache customer's issue.
10:10 a.m. Tell God that this day is just too much for me and ask for strength.
10:30
a.m. Still working on headache customer's issue. Realize that sons 1-3
have drug a bed mattress right behind me, all the way down the stairs
and are jumping off the stairs onto it. They are oh, so sick.
11:00 a.m. Remind boys that they need to be dressed to go to the doctor.
11:15
a.m. Still working on headache customer's issue. Remind boys again that
they need to get dressed. They have progressed from their pajamas to
running around in their underwear with their t-shirts tied into bikini
tops. There is something very wrong with this picture.
11:28
a.m. Finish headache customer's issue and threaten to leave the boys
while I go to their doctor's appointment by myself. ( I know. Great
threat.) They are still barefoot.
11:34 a.m. Leave home for the 11:30 a.m. doctor's appointment.
12:00
noon Doctor informs me that even though I waited five days this time to
come in with the kids, it is still indeed viral, and my trip was
pointless.
12:15 p.m.. Get in line at the post office.
12:25 p.m. Still in line at the post office.
12:30 p.m. Still in line at the post office.
12:35 p.m. Postal worker wheels out a cart of packages for me. That has never happened. I have never had that many packages.
12:40
p.m. Dump packages in van, return cart to post office lobby, and answer
questions for a gentlemen about dropping off an express package, since
I clearly work for the post office.
12:45 p.m. Call a friend and admit a dire need for help.
12:50
p.m. Drop son #4 off for afternoon kindergarten...that started at 12:15
p.m. Let his teacher know, that I, again, will not be back at 2:00, to
fill my volunteer time slot.
1:00 p.m. Give lunch instructions to boys 2 and 3 and get back to work.
1:30
p.m. Tell boys that they are going to their own rooms and their own
beds and not coming out until we leave to pick up #1 and 4 from school.
1:35 p.m. Tell son #3 to go back to his room.
1:40 p.m. Tell son #2 to go back to his room.
1:45 p.m. Tell son #3 to go back to his room.
1:50 p.m. Tell son #2 to go back to his room.
2:00 p.m. Son #1 calls to say that he can't go to study hall after school. It is canceled. He has to be off campus by 3:00.
2:02 p.m. Pretend not to notice that son #3 has left his room again, and is in the bathroom. again.
2:25 p.m. Finally allow sons 2 and 3 to be in the same room together if they keep the door closed and play quietly.
3:07
p.m. Realize that I forgot to pick up son #1 because he texts me to
find out how close I am. I ask him to start walking to the other boys'
school.
3:08 p.m. Son #2 has "broken" son #3's hip. He is
resorted to army crawling - no army dragging across the dining room
tile. He cannot walk.
3:10 p.m. Get in the van and wait for the crippled child to run to the van and get in.
3:12 p.m. Lose it with my kids! It was brewing for a while. Sigh.
3:20 p.m. Pick up #4 from kindergarten. Never saw #1 on the way. He must have walked a different route.
3:30 p.m. Lose #'s 2-4 on the playground...no, they're not on the playground! That is why they are lost. They are oh, so sick.
3:35 p.m. Breathe for five minutes on the school sidewalk and chat with a friend about our woes of helping boys learn to read.
3:40 p.m. Son #1 makes it to the school. Still haven't found #'s 2-4.
3:55
p.m. Get mail from mailbox at house. Open not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4
IDENTICAL letters from Citi Financial expressing their regret that I
turned down their offer of a loan at 31.99% to pay off my lower
interest credit cards and letting me know that they are still there for
me, should I change my mind. Seriously? Who makes this stuff up?
4:00 p.m. Make it home with all four boys, make chore lists, and give snack choices. Head back to work.
4:10 p.m. Turn off t.v. and remind them of their chore lists.
4:20
p.m. Give permission for boys 2-4 to go play with friends after they
have finished their chores and have a snack if they want it. They need
to be home by 5:00.
4:45 p.m. Illustrate seven different back
exercises and stretches for son #1 who has hurt his back somehow. I'm
tempted to think it is related to his assigned chore.
4:57 p.m. Listen to son #1 explain that the reason his backpack smells like a tree is because two precious boys at school doused it with Axe body spray and attempted to set it on fire with a lighter.
5:12 p.m. Boys return and ask for a snack. They "didn't get one!" Stand by my guns. Snack time is over.
5:14 p.m. Listened to voice mail from my best friend. MISSED HER CALL!!!...somewhere in the snack time whining.
5:15 p.m. Warn the boys that we are leaving for church in 15 minutes.
5:25 p.m. Touch up makeup, grab drinks for potluck.
5:30 p.m. Get in the van and threaten to leave the barefoot children home alone. Pfff! Another good one.
5:38
p.m. Leave home and pick up Bill from work. Spend our 20 minutes for
the entire day trying to catch up on what is going on. I tell Bill,
"You don't want to know about my day. I'll just spare you." Finally
break and highlight doctor's visits, kids running off at school, and
headache customer.
6:00 p.m. Get to church and enjoy potluck.
6:15 p.m. Call #2 back from trying to get more dessert.
6:17 p.m. Call #3 back from trying to get more dessert.
6:19 p.m. Call #4 back from trying to get more dessert.
6:23 p.m. #2 escapes and gets more dessert.
6:25
p.m. Oh, glorious hallelujah!!! Childcare is open!!!! Two glorious
hours of encouragement and talk on discipleship, and heart-searching,
and prayer time and watch Louie Giglio's How Great is Our God and let God's greatness and magnificence pour over me. I soak in every glorious drop of encouragement.
8:30 p.m. Visit with friends and oogle over babies and head home.
8:40 p.m. Listen to voice mail from afore mentioned friend. She's on it!
8:45 p.m. Respond to whining kids in the van who "didn't get any dessert."
8:53 p.m. Miss the exit to get Bill's truck from work and have to turn around and go back.
9:10 p.m. Get home. Respond to whining about wanting stories.
9:15
p.m. Do dishes. Scrape avocado and smashed banana off the counter. Pick
up bread crusts and spilled orange yogurt off the floor. Wash the floor.
9:40 p.m. Make hot tea. Sit down to watch the last 20 minutes of one of our favorite shows.
9:43 p.m. Catch a glimpse of my beautiful basket of Valentine verses on the end table and realize that we didn't do our verse today...or yesterday. :(
10:00
p.m. Start opening packages. Oh, yay! There is a tux from a friend for
#3 to wear in Brother #2's wedding!!! Shirt and all!
11:00 p.m. Spend and hour blogging about my day. Don't I have better things to do?
This week's topic has generated some interesting discussion and great questions.I kind of feel like this submission topic is sometimes like peeling the layers of an onion. There are so many reasons why we may struggle, and sometimes it takes a while to get to the bottom of it.
It could be that:
We just don't like authority, but would rather be in control ourselves.
We just don't understand submission.
We just flat out don't respect our husband.
Today, I simply want to share with you some great books that have helped me love my husband more and also "love on" my husband more. Maybe one of them will strike a chord with you. I decided to not even go pouring over my bookshelves to look for them. I'm simply going by the ones that changed me enough to stick out in my memory.
P.S. I do like to read. :)
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, has to be one of the best books I ever bought. Let me tell you why. It is simple, yet profound. Stormie takes 30 topics that are major in a man's life and writes a chapter about them. The first time I went through it, I read the whole book. But this book has been the resource I pull out over and over again.
When my husband is struggling with a certain topic, I can pull out the book, look it up, and remind myself how to pray. Sometimes I just grab it, and look up the chapter for whatever day of the month it is and pray that prayer.
The biggest reason I love this book? Sometimes, especially when you have lots of little ones, your heart is just to exhausted to mentally form the prayers. You know you need to pray, but how? What? There is a certain comfort in those prayers where the spirit simply intercedes for you because you can't even put the words to it. But reading these prayers helps me engage my mind. It reminds me of the truth of God's word, and the truth of our situation. Stormie has written these prayer books for many relationships...she even wrote one for husbands to pray for their wives. Perhaps the pair would be a great valentine investment. :)
Building Your Mate's Self Esteem by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, was like a gift from heaven when it came my way. I found it for a quarter at a Thrift Store, and though, "Why not?" I had no idea, until I started reading it, how much I really needed it. God really opened my eyes to the different ways my husband struggled with self-esteem, and how so many of the things that he struggled with in life were related to that. I really was unaware. If you don't see yourself getting around to reading a book anytime soon, maybe the CD of the Focus on the Family Radio Broadcast will get your heart moving in the right direction.
Wow! Such a simple insight. A wife sees love as love. A husband sees love as respect. You don't respect him? He doesn't feel loved. Its pretty simple really.
I really had no idea how disrespectful I was to my husband before I read this book. I didn't realize the impact some of my words and actions had. It really kind of put the practical touches on how to show him honor and love him on his level. I learned to ask God to help me respect him, when I didn't always find it easy.
In the same way that Love & Respect help you understand the general love language of men, The Five Love Languages sheds further insight on how your specific man likes to be shown love - and how you like to be shown love.
I read this book earlier in our marriage. It actually helped me identify how out of touch I was with my own heart. What made me feel loved?
Bill and I discovered that each of our love languages were the one that was most difficult for the other to meet. Bill's love language is touch (not to be confused with sex). You know, like brushing his shoulders when you walk by or rubbing his head, giving lots of hugs, and reaching for his hand in the car. I'm a personal space kind of girl...not really into all that touching. When I first really started working on this (which I'm ashamed to say was several years after reading the book), I honestly had to discipline myself to touch him. Silly, I know. But it just isn't natural for me. It is becoming more natural, though, and it makes all the difference to him.
Knowing your own love language will help you help your husband love you as well. (I say that because I will not assume you can get your husband to read the book, too. If your house is like mine, I give regular book reports and highlight all the main points in a Cliff Notes style for my non-reader husband.) For instance, my love language is quality time. Usually for me, that means conversation. I am married to, perhaps the quietest man on the planet. He really doesn't like talking all that much. I have put him to sleep many times.
It is easy for our spouses to feel "unloved" simply because we are loving them our way, not their way. It can be a fairly simple adjustment once the light bulb comes on and you ask God for lots of help.
Daily Blessings for My Husband by Melody Carlson, has been another one of those worn out mama life savers! It again, has pages of pre-written blessings on a variety of topics. It is almost like having a greeting card store at your disposal. When you know you need to encourage him or apologize or bless him - but you honestly can't think of anything to say...find the right blessing and leave it open and marked on his pillow. Its never failed me yet.
Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, changed my life. I've often been surprised how many people are leery of the Boundaries books. I guess I was a bit too, until I read it. My "leeriness" was based on mis-assumptions. This book helps address many of the questions that are faced in manipulative and abusive relationships. It helps you stop and realize that if all your relationships seem to head the same direction, then maybe it says more about you than it does for everyone else. In a sense, you teach others how to treat you. You may think that sounds controlling, but really, this book helped me see how much I tried to control others by the misuse of boundaries.
If you are looking for an "out" to the whole submission thing, especially if you think your husband is one that God would make an exception for, this book is for you. But watch out! It isn't what you expect.
I've pretty much come to the conclusion that we all have boundaries. It is just a matter of whether or not we tell others what we are. Most of us are guilty of exploding when someone crosses our boundary. We just assumed they should know. We never actually told them.
It is really difficult to describe all the sludge this stirred up in my life, so you may need a dose of courage to crack it open. But I've never met someone that regretted it. Drs. Cloud and Townsend have many amazing books. This is just one.
Sex is important in marriage....and not just for the man. If you have some hangups in sex that may have to do with spiritual perception or past guilt, this is a great book.
Growing up in a strong Christian home, I knew that sex was supposed to be saved for marriage. I knew that God planned it that way, and I knew it was right. But what I didn't really understand was how beautiful and spiritual he intended it to be. Sex became a big "no, no!" in my mind, because it was forbidden. Unfortunately, I had some serious mental hang-ups when I got married because it is hard to turn off the "no, no!" switch. Sacred Sex opened my eyes to the beauty of sex from a spiritual viewpoint and helped me understand why God created it the way He did.
